“What was the last thing someone did
for you that made you feel Loved?” I ask my students once again. This time, I
want to hear what they have written. “Cold-calling” students is effective, but
only if you know they can answer the question. Teachers do not need to use “cold-calling”
like a quiz, assessing whether a student knows this fact or that figure. Of
course, it can be used that way, but I tend to avoid putting any undue stress
on my students. I “cold-call” them after bellworks because there are no right
or wrong answers (usually), and when they respond it gives me a chance to
positively affirm their participation. Psychologically, this helps my students
know that I am legitimately interested in what they have to say and what their
opinions are. This affirmation creates in my students an expectation that if
that student wants to participate in class in the future, they will not be
ridiculed or shamed. They become more confident. I do this every day. This
affirmation practice needs to be a routine for my students, and when we do
review exercises where I will “cold-call” students with questions we have
already taken notes on, most of my students feel comfortable speaking.
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| St. Joseph and the Child Jesus at St. Therese's Church Discalced Carmelites in Dublin, Ireland. St. Joseph serves as an example of Love in how he risks shame, ridicule, and rejection of his own community. (photo P. Smith) |
“My mom made me
breakfast.” “My friends threw me a surprise party.” “My brother gave me a ride
to school today.” It does not matter if these acts of Love are monumental or
small, I explain to my students. What matters is that they are done. No act of
Love is too small, I refer to St. Therese of Lisieux. I ask as many students to
share. Usually, after I “cold-call” a few of them, they see that I am not
judging anyone, so more volunteer their responses. After I run out of
volunteers, I push them further. “What do these acts of Love have in common?”
They ponder this for a few moments. I ask them to think back to the prayer. “The
one who is doing the Loving is not afraid to Love,” one student might say. “What
would they be afraid of?” I ask. They think about this more. “Maybe they could
be afraid that they might not be Loved back by us.” I interpret: “So Love
involves risk? Love involves losing something? Losing total control over a
situation?” Sometimes this question sparks conversation and I can see the
wheels in my students heads turning. “Folks, True Love involves admitting you
are not in control of others. True Love is a risk. It is opening yourself up to
rejection. When your mom makes you breakfast, she is Hoping that you will smile
and say ‘thanks’, but she is risking that you will not. When your brother gives
you a ride to school, he may be thinking of it as a chore…a sacrifice of his
own… but imagine what that chore would be if you just said ‘thank you’. Love is
an invitation, then, to Love in response.”
I
use this concept of authentic Love as being the opposite of fear to teach the
Paschal Mystery. The Paschal mystery, I will show them, is the story of Jesus
becoming totally vulnerable and risking everything, all so we can know how much
He Loves us. The Paschal Mystery, then, is an invitation for us to Love God
back.
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